Monday, April 19, 2010
Health
So I came back from last week’s terrific Seattle vacation with a cold. As nice as it was to be off work it sure was chilly. So, in honor of my illness I present your mom’s view on health care. We’ll start with a story from a member and then on to some jokes.
(Ed.’s Note: her name is “Waterfall.” How Berkeley is that?)
Madeleine Waterfall-Quiton: HAHAHAHAHAH! An email from my Mom today! :
"Dear Maddie...I hope you had a good day with your patients and were able to get in touch with your healing energy and transcend the academic details. One thing about older patients, they probably are giving you a lot of knowledge and skill because they will recognize your goddess power. Love Mom" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Your mom is so Berkeley…
...she wears stones for their healing properties and does Reiki on the cat
…she delivered half the babies on Shattuck. And probably breastfed them too.
…you were delivered by your father(not a dr.), at home (not a hospital)
…she thinks yoga has too may "Warrior Poses". Peace out you kinda rainbow sisters!
… when she comes to visit me in Italy she brings the following American must-haves: chiropractic pillow, sonicare toothbrush heads, tension tamer and women's tonic herbal teas, trader joes almonds and cranberries, Peace and Calming essential oil, cucumber scented body time soap.
…you were born at home in a bed made of natural redwood that your mom built herself while she was pregnant.
… she had you "take a moment and visualize joyful places" before taking you to the emergency room with a broken arm
… she got a glass eye with a dophin-safe tunafish in it.
…she hitchhiked from Marin Ave. to Alta Bates on the day you were born.
…that I was afraid to tell her when I got my first period because I was afraid she would try to have a pagan ritual to celebrate
…your placenta is still stashed in the back of the freezer, waiting to be planted under a tree.
…she had her placenta made into pills to help fight post-partum depression.
…she paid the midwife who birthed you with a sheet rocking job.
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